A joke a day, keeps the doctor away!

A guy walks into a bar with his horse and offers $100 to anybody who can make the horse laugh. Only one guy says he can do it, and he whispers something in the horse's ear. Sure enough, the horse laughs his head off.

So the following week, the guy is back in the bar with his horse again, but his time he offers $200 to anyone who can make the horse cry. The same guy comes up to him, then whispers to the horse and they go off to the bathroom. Amazingly, when they come back, the horse is sobbing. The horse's owner goes over to the other guy, and says: "Hey, I just gotta know - how did you do that?"

"Simple," he replies, "last week I told him I had a bigger cock than him. This week I showed him...."

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun surprised by the question politely declines and gets off the bus at the next stop.

When the bus starts on its way the driver says to the hippie, "I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you". The hippie says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery and prays to God. If you went dressed in a robe and glow in the dark paint mask she would think you are god and you could command her to have sex with you.

The hippie decides this is a great idea, so on Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun to show up. At midnight sure enough the nun showed up, while she was in the middle of praying the hippie jumped out from hiding and says. "I AM GOD" I have heard your prayers and I will answer them BUT ... first you must have sex with me.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity because she is married to the church. The hippie agrees to this and has his way with the nun. After the hippie finishes he stands up and rips off the mask and shouts "Ha, Ha Ha I'm the hippie!!" Then the nun jumps up and shouts "Ha Ha Ha I'm the bus driver!!"

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Nice want mika.. those sure are funny but arent u afraid of corrupting kids mind?

no need scare corruption..
These are just the basis kids need to learn b4 they grow up to the real world

lol..i asked static before whether can post dirty jokes not. he's fine with it. lol! so should be ok la hor? =x

lol... its a free world.. do watever things u like...

Come on~ nowaday mostly kid noe all tis la~

theres 2 pilot in a helicopter...they were getting ready for a lookout for Mas Selamat...after they took off from the platform....the helicopter came down crashing onto a tree....why does the helicopter crash down???

ANS ANS PLS!!!lol...

barbar89 wrote:theres 2 pilot in a helicopter...they were getting ready for a lookout for Mas Selamat...after they took off from the platform....the helicopter came down crashing onto a tree....why does the helicopter crash down???

ANS ANS PLS!!!lol...

one of the pilot took his partner's dick as the controller to fly the helicopter and it end up losing control of the helicopter thus, the helicopter crashed. xD

Lovemika wrote:

barbar89 wrote:theres 2 pilot in a helicopter...they were getting ready for a lookout for Mas Selamat...after they took off from the platform....the helicopter came down crashing onto a tree....why does the helicopter crash down???

ANS ANS PLS!!!lol...

one of the pilot took his partner's dick as the controller to fly the helicopter and it end up losing control of the helicopter thus, the helicopter crashed. xD

LOL!!!gd try...but the diack is not the joystick...lol....

LMAO.. the answer must be something dirty..

jaysen wrote:LMAO.. the answer must be something dirty..

no lor...the ans is very lame i tell u...lol...my mind very clean de...i wont disrupt the clean mind of the young ones...LOL!!!!

LOL!!!!
wait til ur answer is release~

jaysen wrote:LOL!!!!
wait til ur answer is release~

try guess ar...

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely" to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence. The first student raised his hand and said "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher said, "Well, that isn't entirely correct, because sometimes it's gray and cloudy".

Another student says, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher again replies "If grass doesn't get enough water it turns brown, so that isn't really correct either."

Another student raises his hand and asks the teacher "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher looked at him and said "No...But that isn't really a question you want to ask in class discussion." So the student replies, "Then I definitely shit my pants."

Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.

"Yeah teacher?" he replies.

"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.

Matt answers "Well, teacher, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."

"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.

"Well, teacher, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is licking it, and one is sucking on it. Which one is married?"

The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's sucking on the ice cream."

Matt replies "No teacher, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"

A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this...

'Looking for man with these qualifications; won't beat me up; or run away from me and is great in bed.'

She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away."

So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?"

Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?"